I am attracted to them but my family says they are not good-looking enough
Your family does not have to be physically attracted to the person you are marrying.
In short
If you are genuinely attracted to the person and the match is otherwise suitable, family comments about looks should not be allowed to become the main decision. Listen if they are raising a real concern about health, character or compatibility, but do not let relatives turn someone's face, height, weight or skin into a family vote.
What Islam gives us here
Islam gives weight to religion, character and genuine marital compatibility rather than social beauty rankings.
Qur'an 49:13 rejects status based on race, tribe and inherited social measures.
Sometimes families say 'not attractive enough' when they are actually worried about class, ethnicity or what relatives will say.
Do not invite family into private attraction
You need enough attraction for marriage. Your aunties and cousins do not need to approve the person's face.
Protect the potential spouse's dignity
Do not repeat cruel family comments back to them just because you are frustrated. Handle the family conversation without humiliating the person you may marry.
What you can do now
Ask family to state any non-appearance concerns clearly.
Decide whether you personally have enough attraction.
Keep insulting comments away from the potential spouse.
Use a mediator if appearance is being used to hide another objection.
Questions people usually ask next
Should parents have a say in attraction?
They can advise, but you are the person who needs attraction to your spouse.
What if they say I could do better?
Ask what better means. Wealth, lighter skin or a more fashionable appearance are not automatically better marriage qualities.
Want us to look at your own situation?
The personal Islamic plan service is separate from the free guidance library. When it opens, it will apply general Islamic principles to the facts you share and include three follow-up questions. It is not medical, legal or other professional advice.
VidNikah completed an editorial Islamic evidence review on 2026-09-11. Every published guidance article has an explicit Qur'an or hadith reference and is checked for unsupported scholar attribution. This is not a personal fatwa or a claim of named scholar approval.
Evidence reviewed
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